Lost and Found
by Cordelia Blythe
Summary: The tale of Lily, James, and Severus. Takes place right after the infamous scene by the lake. Unrequited Sev/Lily. Eventual James/Lily. Chapter 5 is up... Please read and review! Also featuring Sirius, Remus, Peter, Dorcas, and Mary.
1. Lily's Worst Memory

_Mudblood. _

The moment the word comes out of his mouth, she feels like she has been slapped. She almost wonders, childishly, if he has even said it. She prays that he hasn't. She wishes that it is her imagination.

But one look at James Potter's angry face, and she realizes with a horrible sinking feeling that her best friend has, in fact, said it. In that instant, Lily does not know what to do. _What are you supposed to do when your best friend calls you a Mudblood? _She thinks.

She blinks and says the first thing that comes to her mind, "Fine, I won't bother in the future. I'd wash your pants if I were you, _Snivellus._" She says this with as much spite as she can muster. But this is Sev, her friend, and spite was something she usually saved for James Potter. Also, the thing is, she is more hurt than she is angry.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………_.._

She rushes into her dorm room, her eyes filling up with tears. She crawls into her bed, under her comforter, and waits as the tears flow down her cheeks. She doesn't want to be crying, but the tears keep coming. _How could he say it? _Severus, who had been her first teacher of magic, who had been her first best friend, who had sat with her through hours of her "Potter-rants"…

"Lily?" Lily looks up to see Dorcas standing near the dorm room's doorway. Dorcas walks in, drops her books on her own bed, and then proceeds onto Lily's. "Oh, Lily," she says softly, wrapping her arms around her friend. Lily lets out a sob, and cries harder.

"I've lost him, Dorcas." Lily says when her sobs subside. "I've lost my best friend."

"No, Lily." Dorcas says. She reaches over and tucks a strand of stray hair behind Lily's ear. "Look at me, Lily." Lily looks up, her big eyes still filled with tears, her cheeks tear-stained. "No. _He_ lost _you_."

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

She feels his gaze on her the entire time she is trying to work on her Charms essay. She wonders, annoyed, if he doesn't have anything better to do. Once or twice she stares back at him, willing him to look away, but she finds that this is useless. He looks away for only a second, embarrassed, but the next second he is back to staring at her again. His Gryffindor tie hangs loosely around his neck, a couple of buttons on his white dress shirt are undone from the top, and the shirt is not tucked into his black pants. His glasses are a little crooked, and his hair is the usual mess. He is looking at her as if he is afraid that she will break down any moment. And she is frustrated by this. He is distracting her from her duties.

When she is finally done with the essay, she gets up, yawning. Dorcas sits across from Lily, working on her own essay, while Mary is at the library working on a Herbology assignment.

"Done already?" Dorcas asks looking up at Lily.

"Yeah, but it isn't my best work." Lily says honestly, glancing over at him to see his gaze not wavering from her. Dorcas follows her friend's eyes, and says –

"You know, he was asking me about you just before you came down the stairs…" Dorcas looks at Lily warily, waiting for her friend to explode. "Wanted to know how you were doing after the… the incident." When Lily doesn't say anything, she goes on to add, "Lily, you do realize that the poor bloke has been eyeing you the whole evening?"

"Nope, haven't noticed." Lily lies casually.

"Well, he has, and it would do you some good to give him some attention."

"And why is that?" Lily asks.

"Because it seems like he won't give up until you do." Dorcas says and then glances behind Lily. "Heads up, Lover-boy is on his way over here."

Lily turns around, and sees him walking towards her.

...


	2. Not A Bully

"Evans," He says awkwardly. He is still looking at her like she is an incredibly fragile thing that might shatter any moment. "Look, I'm sorry about what happened today. Snape -" James' jaw twitches as he says this, an angry flash in his eyes. "Snape was an arse… and I - I hope you're alright." He is nervous. Lily Evans makes him that way.

"I'm fine, thank you." Lily says, nodding at James, "It's kind of you to ask." She refrains from telling him that he was annoying her by looking at her the entire evening, because she acknowledges the fact that poor Potter had already had his dose of "Lily's wrath" today.

"Er, well, that's good then." He says, looking relieved that she was being nice to him. It really was a surprise to him - her being this way. It didn't happen often. He runs a hand through his hair, and then says, "So, see you then?"

"Yes, see you." Lily says, and then turning on her heels, vanishes up the stairs leading to her dorm.

………………………………...

He watches her walk up the stairs without so much as a glance at him. He sighs. He tries. He really, really does. He tries so hard to be sensitive, understanding… and all that other crap, James knows from eavesdropping on girls, that they liked in a boy. But, he is so fed up of trying all the tricks and failing miserably.

Lily Evans, he realizes, is _not_ going to fall for him. This was, of course, a bit shocking for someone like him. He was James Potter - Chaser _and_ Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, son of the famous Auror, Harold Potter, top scorer on every Defense Against the Dark Arts exam…

This was weird, to say the least. It was so strange to have someone hate him. Well, okay, it wasn't too strange - there was Severus Snape.

And it was a known fact that Snape hated James very much. Sure, James Potter hadn't exactly treated Snape very nicely. Sure, he had pulled every prank known to mankind on the greasy git. And although that could have easily been the sole reason for Snape hating James, James thinks that there has to be more than just that. But he doesn't know for sure.

And okay, Severus Snape was Lily's best friend. James almost snorts out loud, standing in the middle of the common room. _Best friend_. _Some best friend Snape turned out to be - calling her a name, I can't even bring myself to think of…Bloody idiot… _

"James?"

He looks around, and sees Dorcas Meadowes looking at him strangely.

"You okay?" She asks, rolling up the parchment in front of her and getting up from the table she has been sitting at.

"Yeah…" he says, nodding. He watches her gather her quills and book bag, and then says after a pause, "Why wouldn't I be okay?"

"Because you are pining for my best friend." Dorcas says grinning. "And come on, James, you really can't be denying it anymore." She tilts her head, raising her eyebrows, amused. "Not after you publicly proclaimed your love for her today afternoon."

James scoffs. "You really take exaggeration to the next level, Dorcas Meadowes." He tries to look as careless as possible. "It was hardly a proclamation of love."

"No, you're right - it was a pitiful plea for a date," Dorcas says, her tone teasing. She takes on a lofty, deep voice, "_Go out with me, Evans… Lily dearest, have a drink with me, go on… please, please, please, I'll do anything for you… I dream about us getting married and having little bab _-" And she is cut off abruptly as James lunges at her and says laughing -

"I wouldn't go on if I were you, Meadowes, because even if my best friend is a clueless git, I definitely am not," James lowers his voice, and glances over at the group sitting near the fireplace. "Enlighten me, Miss Meadowes, what ever happened to the Quidditch seeker gloves that Sirius claimed he lost about a year ago?"

And at this, the brunette blushes crimson.

"Yes, I thought that would shut you up." James says, his eyes twinkling.

"I - I didn't take them!" she protests, giving James her best "I have no idea what you're talking about" look.

"Dorcas, Dorcas, Dorcas," James says. "You really give me no credit - that is one lousy attempt at lying."

"James -" Dorcas tries protesting, but is interrupted by the common room door flying open, revealing an agitated girl at the entrance.

"Urgh, I swear I'll complain to McGonagall if I see him lurking around outside our common room again," the girl says, shaking her dark curls from her forehead.

"He is _outside_?" Dorcas asks incredulously.

"Yes," the girl shudders. "He is sulking outside, and he swears that he won't leave unless I tell Lily to go outside and talk to him."

James watches this exchange between the girls, and says, "Who exactly are we talking about?" He looks at Dorcas and then at the other girl. "Dorcas? Mary?"

Mary looks at James like she has just realized James's presence. She eyes him warily, and then glances at Dorcas, asking for her approval.

"Its okay, you can tell James, Mary." Dorcas says smiling slightly. She elbows James playfully. "You won't do anything stupid, will you, James?"

James looks at her, confused.

"Severus Snape is standing outside," Mary clarifies for him. "Apparently, he wants to _apologize _to Lily."

Dorcas scoffs. "The scum."

James feels anger surge through him. He clenches and unclenches his fists, a sort of fierceness taking hold of him.

"I swear, I'll -" James struggles with himself, trying to come up with something bad enough to do to Snape.

Dorcas looks at him knowingly, and asks him cautiously, "You won't do anything, will you?"

He looks at her, a smile appearing on his handsome face. "What?" he gives her a playful tap on her head. "What do you think I could possibly do to Snape, Meadowes?"

Dorcas gives him a skeptical look and says, "Oh, I don't know…" she pretends to think. "Maybe take his pants off in front of the entire student body?"

"Been there, done that." James says offhandedly.

"No, really?" Mary asks sarcastically.

"Don't pretend like you and your friends didn't notice me and Sirius humiliate the slime ball today morning." James says suavely.

"No, we saw that," Mary says laughing. "But if we're talking about humiliation here, then I might also mention the part when Lily called you a - a…what was that she called you, James? Ah, oh yes, a bullying toerag." She smirks, while James' frowns at the memory.

James was anything but a bully. Well, okay, so he liked to have some fun with people. But 'Bully' was a strong word. He wasn't really a bully, was he? Yes, he had tortured Snape just for the fun of it… and yes, Snape hadn't _really_ bothered him today morning. So? Sirus was bored, and so was he. They had seen Snivellus walk towards them, and James just couldn't resist the urge to taunt him. That couldn't make him, James, a bully.

Could it?


	3. Worry

Sirius Black stares at the ceiling of his dorm room. He lies on his bed, his hands behind his head, his long legs crossed. It is past midnight. He is almost always the last person to fall asleep in their dorm, but today James is awake, too. There was only one reason as to why James was still awake, Sirius knows. He knows that James is a little worked up about the whole Snape-fiasco today. He wasn't worked up about hurting Snape. No, he was just frustrated that Evans had refused him, yet again.

And there were many reasons as to why he, Sirius, was awake.

"What were you and Meadowes talking about?" he asks suddenly.

James looks up from the book he has been pretending to read, and says, "Just the usual."

"Usual."

"Yeah, you know - 'How are you?' and 'I'm fine.'" James looks at Sirius and then says after the slightest pause, "Why?"

"Nothing… just looked a lot more than 'the usual.'" Sirius says with something like accusation in his voice.

"Meaning, what?" James asks, annoyed now. He didn't like Sirius using his accusing tone.

There is a long pause, and James wonders if Sirius is asleep.

"Meaning, maybe she fancies you." Sirius says, and surprises himself and James.

James stares at Sirius and then laughs quietly, not wanting to wake Remus or Peter up. When his laughter subsides, he looks at Sirius again. When Sirius doesn't laugh, James realizes that his friend is serious.

"Are you serious?" James asks, and refrains from making his question a joke pertaining to his best mate's name.

Sirius stares at him blankly.

James tries to hide the smile forming on his lips, because he knows that it would tick Sirius off, and says, "Um, no." He lets out a chuckle when he cannot resist it anymore. "No, Padfoot, Dorcas Meadowes does not _fancy_ me." He snorts out now, and as predicted by James, Sirius looks pissed off.

"What? What the hell is so funny, dimwit?" Sirius asks, his tone accusing again. But this time James is not angry or annoyed. Nope. He is amused. So amused.

"Just, NO, Padfoot." More laughter. "Meadowes does _not_ fancy _me_, okay?" James doubles over in laughter, all sorts of noises coming from his nose.

"How do you know that for sure, moron? And stop with the BLOODY GIGGLING!" Sirius throws a pillow at the lump that is James Potter. When he emerges from under the pillow, he shakes his head at Sirius, and says -

"I know because I just do… besides, she fancies someone else."

"Oh."

"'Oh' is right, git."

"In our year?"

"Yes."

"Is it Remus?"

"She didn't tell me who it was." James lies. "But I'm pretty sure it isn't Remus."

"Okay, well… good night, then." Sirius says, sounding a little too happy.

………………………………...

The day of their Transfiguration O.W.L's is a dreary, bleak day. As Lily writes down the answer for the last question on her exam, there is a loud thunder. She jumps a little in her seat, and looks around. In front of her she sees Sirius Black stretch in his seat. He turns, sees her looking at him, winks at her and grins at something behind her. She turns and sees James Potter grinning back at Black. He catches her eye, but she turns away instantly.

When the proctor announces the end of the examination, she gets up, hauls her book bag onto her shoulder, and walks out of the Great Hall, her eyes surveying the group of students and finding Dorcas and Mary walking towards the lake. She hurries to catch up with them. It is drizzling slightly, and even at twelve in the noon it looks gloomy and dark.

"Dorcas! Mary!"

They turn and smile as Lily makes her way over to them through the crowd.

"Lily! How was your exam?" Dorcas asks.

Lily smiles and says, "I think it went pretty well." She then frowns, and says, "Except for that one question on how to transfigure a bullfrog into a vase. I wasn't sure about the wand movement."

"Oh, Lily, I'm sure you got the 'Outstanding' that you want in the subject." Mary says rolling her eyes at her worried friend.

"I won't be too sure." Lily says, still looking anxious.

"Well, I think I did really well." Dorcas says, as confident as ever when it came to exams.

"And you, Mary?" Lily asks.

She shrugs and says, "Okay." There is another thunder, and a bright flash in the sky.

Dorcas shudders and says shivering slightly, "I _hate_ thunderstorms."

"Really? I am rather fond of them. They're scary, but in a good way, you know?" Lily says smiling.

"I don't have an opinion on the weather." Mary says, looking bored. "Sorry if it makes me boring."

"But, really, what _are _we doing, going to the lake when its pouring rain?" Dorcas asks with something like frustration in her voice.

"Again with the exaggeration, my dear Dorcas." A voice says from behind them. _And really, anyone can guess whose pompous voice that was_, Lily thinks. Lily, Dorcas, and Mary turn around simultaneously and come face-to-face with James Potter and his gang. James smirks at Dorcas, and says, "_Pouring_ rain now, is it?" He glances around as though in search of the supposed torrential rainfall. He runs a hand through his hair that is now wet due to the drizzling.

"James, don't make me say what I had been telling you yesterday again." Dorcas warns. "And this time you'll have an _audience._" Her eyes flicker over to Lily.

"What are you doing, anyway? Listening in on our conversation?" Lily snaps.

"Evans, give it a rest, will you?" Sirius Black says, that defensive tone evident in his voice. And it really does impress her - the way in which these four boys back each other up. She almost _likes _Sirius Black at that moment. But only _almost_. There was very little difference between Sirius Black and James Potter - Sirius Black liked to harass Severus. James Potter liked to harass Severus _and her. _

But Severus… what was she doing thinking about Severus Snape? Did she forget that he was not her best friend anymore? Did she forget that he had called her a filthy name? No, she couldn't forget it. Not even if she tried.

"How was your exam, Lily?" Remus asks finally lowering the question paper he was hidden behind a moment ago and disrupting her thoughts.

"It was fine, thank you." Lily replies. She glances at his face and almost gasps out loud. "Remus! Are you alright?" Remus touches his face, his hands grazing over the many scars on the sides.

He tries and fails to look careless about it. But he manages a smile when he says, "Yes, I am quite alright."

"Your -" She starts to say after exchanging a startled expression with Dorcas and Mary, both of whom look as astonished as Lily.

"He is fine, Evans." Potter says intervening. He glances over at Remus and says to Lily after a long pause, "Thanks for your concern. Now, if you don't mind, we'll be on our way."

And as the boys make their way around the girls, Lily watches James Potter closely. She sees something she has never seen on his face before, and it sort of unravels her. She struggles with trying to figure out what the expression is. Is it fear? No, not fear.

It is worry. James Potter is worried about something. And it had to be regarding Remus.

………………………………_..._

Note: Thanks a lot for the reviews :) They motivate me to write more and more...


	4. Bitter Happenings

The war. That is all everyone seems to be talking about. Lily looks around the classroom she is sitting in, and catches snippets of conversation here and there -

"His followers are called Death Eaters."

"Vol - ?"

"Sh! Don't say the name!"

"Sorry… anyway, You-know-who's followers?"

"Yes. Doesn't it sound corny? Death Eaters? Oh yeah, I'm _really_ scared."

She finds something fake about this banter. Even as students make a joke out of the war and Voldemort, she sees right through this act. It is a mask that claims to hide the real fear, but really, it can clearly be seen in everyone's eyes. Even as the students make fun of the Death Eaters, they are jittery. Benjy Fenwick, sitting next to her in the sixth year Charms classroom, has a shadow in his usually bright blue eyes. Marlene McKinnon is fidgeting with her scarf, her mouth a frown. Sirius Black has a far away look that seems empty - he definitely isn't himself, Lily can tell. The usual amused expression on his face, the one that makes him look like he is laughing at a private joke, is not there. Remus Lupin looks more weary than usual, his face looking a lot older than a sixteen-year-old's. Peter Petegrew looks more confused than usual. And James… even James Potter looks subdued. That is saying something. James Potter was many things, but subdued was never one of them.

It is right before the Christmas holidays, and yet, the atmosphere is glum. The greens and reds decorating the hallways seem like they are there just to remind people that it is a time to be merry. Just so that they don't forget to be happy.

The bell rings at the end of another lesson in Charms. Students get up, murmuring about the war again. Lily is so fed up with all this talk of fight and revenge. She wishes for those times before the war was declared. Before. It was hard to imagine that 'before' was only three days ago. And over the three days there have been seven deaths ( three muggles, four muggleborns).

As she walks out the door with Dorcas, she struggles to remember what made 'before the war' any different from 'after it was declared.' It _was _different - no questions about that. But she cannot pinpoint the exact reason, other than the killings, of course.

"Is it really almost Christmas, Lily?" Dorcas asks, her tone flat.

"I'm afraid it is." Lily answers, reciprocating her friend's monotone.

"You hear anything the professor said today?"

"Not a word."

"Well, there _is_ one thing to cheer about." Dorcas says, sounding slightly happier.

"What's that?"

"Slughorn's Christmas party."

Lily raises her eyebrows at Dorcas. "Any particular reason why you're happy about it?"

But before Dorcas can answer, Lily realizes that someone is nudging her elbow. She turns and finds Severus Snape walking along with her. She is startled, to say the least. For the first time in almost six months, she finds herself face-to-face with her former best friend. She notices that he looks especially pale, his hair as greasy as ever.

"Can I talk to you, Lily?" he asks, his voice low and scratchy. He glances over at Dorcas, and adds, "In private?"

"Whatever it is that you want to say, I'm sure you can say it in front of Dorcas, Snape." Lily replies curtly.

"Please." he says.

Lily stares at him, her gaze fiery. She then looks at Dorcas and says, "I'll meet you in the Great Hall?"

Dorcas eyes Snape warily, and then nods reluctantly. When Dorcas has walked away, he looks at Lily, guilt written all over his face. "How are you, Lily?"

"Is that what you wanted to ask me? In private?" Lily asks, not attempting to hide the contempt in her voice. They're in the middle of a hallway, and the crowd of students who are trying to get to the Great Hall for dinner walk around Lily and Severus. Severus looks around at the people, and deciding that it would be better to get out of the way of the crowd, reaches for Lily's wrist. But the moment his long fingers make contact with her slender wrist, she jumps. "What're you doing?" she snaps at him.

He flushes, releases her wrist, and tries to explain himself, "I - the crowd - blocking the way -"

She ignores him, and says, "I think the question should be directed at you, Severus." Her voice is so cold that he almost winces. The name 'Severus' on her lips used to make him smile. It used to sound like Lily was coating his name with honey when saying it. But now… now it sounded exactly the way his name _should _sound - like a cut… like a sharp blow… like a slap. "How are _you_? Happy, I'm sure." She is barely over five feet, but the way in which she is speaking to Severus right now makes him feel smaller than her. "Are you ecstatic that _muggleborns, _like me, are dying everyday? That's what you and your _friends_ want, right? Do you see what this wizarding world has come to?" she shakes her head at him. "Hatred. Everywhere I look, I see hatred. It's people like you, Severus, who destroy _everything_!" It takes her a moment to realize that she is now yelling, and that her eyes are filling up with tears. People around them are looking over to see what the commotion is all about.

"Lily, don't…" he pleads, his hands reaching for Lily's again. Lily pulls away vehemently.

"Don't TOUCH me!" Her voice resonates around the hallway, and as she backs away from Severus, she hits something solid. And a voice as angry as Lily's says -

"What is going on here?"

Lily doesn't have to turn around to know that the solid form she has backed into is James Potter. He is holding onto her elbows from behind.

"Nothing is going on," she says, but her strangled voice betrays her. "Please, let go of my elbows, Potter." She pulls away, and turns to see James Potter glaring at Severus Snape. She looks at Severus and then at James, and says, "Excuse me." And then she is walking away, leaving in her wake two very confused, and somewhat hurt, boys.

………………………………...

"Meadowes." Sirius nods when he sees her sit at the Gryffindor table for dinner that night. Her hair is a soft brown. It reminds him a little of milk chocolate. The moment he thinks this, though, he wonders what is wrong with him. Why on _earth_ was he comparing a girl's hair to food? He was turning into James. Yes, that's it. There was no other explanation. James, with his similes for Lily's eyes and hair, was influencing Sirius. And yes, ok, so he loved his best friend and all that, but Sirius didn't want to turn into Prongs. No possible way.

"Black." She nods back. She bites her lip and wonders why it is so hard being normal around Sirius Black.

"How are you?"

"Fine…" She looks at him after taking a seat across from Remus, who is sitting next to Sirius. "What about you?"

"Good." he says, but then laughs a dry laugh that is so unlike his dog-like bark. "As good as a person can be in these times."

Dorcas looks at him for a second, and then says, "You sound bitter."

He looks up from the potatoes on his plate, and says, "I am bitter." He looks over at Remus and Peter, and says to Dorcas, "It is Christmas, and we're _all, _" He points his fork at Remus, Peter, Dorcas, and then finally at himself, "bitter. Wouldn't you agree, Moony?" He looks at Remus, who shrugs and says -

"It's a war. Bitterness is what war is all about."

"Ah…" Sirius sighs, and throws Remus an exasperated look. "Remus likes to come up with his own idiotic philosophies," he tells Dorcas, who smiles at Sirius.

Then there is a silence in which everyone is preoccupied with consuming their food. A moment later, though, it is broken when Sirius exclaims, "Where the hell is Prongs, anyway?"

………………………………...

"Hey, EVANS!" He jogs down the hallway. "EVANS! WAIT!" But she doesn't slow down, nor does she acknowledge his loud voice. But he has long legs, and he catches up with her in seconds. He stands right in front of her, blocking her way. "What the hell, Evans?! I was trying to help." He is so very irritated. This was the limit. He had put up with her crap for a long time. And this was just the _limit_. Here he was, trying to help her and save her from the greasy git, and she wasn't even thankful? Well, he had to show her that no one, _no one,_ could act this way towards James Potter.

But the moment her eyes meet his, he is so lost. He has no clue what he wants to tell her. He stares a little like an idiot.

"I am capable of taking care of myself, thank you very much." she says, and pierces him with a glare. "You were butting in." She gestures around at the people around them and says, "These people might consider you to be their savior, but you aren't my knight in shining -" she pauses, and then says, "robes. So, please stop trying to act like you are." This said, she turns around promptly and starts for the entrance of the Great Hall.

He stands there for a second.

Lily Evans always seems to render him speechless.

...

Note: Thanks a lot for reading. I love feedback, so please let me know how you like it :) Those of you who have reviewed before, thank you very much for taking your time to do so... You have motivated me to continue with the writing :)

- Cordelia Blythe


	5. Stupid Actions Have Sirius Consequences

"So, are you gonna keep up with the tradition of asking Evans to Slughorn's party this year?" Sirius asks James as they walk down the cobbled streets of Hogsmeade. Soft, fluffy snow is swirling down from the heavens, spotting their dark woolen coats and scarves with white.

"I'm so over her, mate." James says offhandedly. And he really, really is _over _her. There is nothing holding him back from asking other girls to the party. Nothing.

"Oh, yeah?" Remus asks casually. Too casually. It's almost as if he is mocking James.

Sirius snickers, and nudges James. "We'll see if he _really _got over her when she walks by him today. If Prongs starts wagging his tail, then we know that he's a lousy liar." Peter laughs, and James glares at Sirius.

"You don't believe me?" James asks. When they all just shrug at him, he says, "I'll prove it to you." He jogs down the narrow lane, leaving his friends behind. There are a group of girls standing around the entrance to the Three Broomsticks. As he nears them he glances behind him to see his friends following him, looks of confusion on their faces. He turns back to the girls, and wonders what exactly he is doing here. But, too late. He is already here, and the girls are now looking at him curiously, probably wondering why James Potter was approaching them. He scans their faces, and realizes that he knows them all…

And with a sinking feeling he also realizes that one of them is Lily Evans.

_Shit._

He can't take his eyes off of her. _Hell. Bloody Hell_. This whole thing was supposed to be about proving to his friends that he was over _her. _And now, here he was showing them the exact opposite. But, he can't stop looking at her. Her eyes are hypnotizing him. Her hair is braided, and he wants to comb his fingers through them and undo them.

"Hello, James," someone is saying. He tears his gaze away from hers with much difficulty to turn towards the speaker. It's Dorcas.

"Hey, Dorcas…" His eyes wander over the others. "Mary…Marlene… Alice…" They mutter back their greetings. He looks over at Lily, and then after a long pause, says, "Lily."

"Hello…" She pauses, too, and then says, "James." He notices how her pale cheeks are all peachy from the cold, how she is wearing layers and layers of coats over her small frame, how she is rubbing her hands together…

"Um…" He says. His right hand rests on the back of his neck. It itches to go up into his hair and mess it up. She sees him struggling to stop himself from doing so. Suddenly, seeming to have gotten up the courage, he says, looking right at her, "So, this weekend is Slughorn's party."

He feels like he doesn't have control over his actions. He is doing it again. He is asking her out. His mind is yelling at him. It is telling him not to do it. But his heart - it is doing a dance of its own. His bloody heart is making him do this. It doesn't listen to that rational mind of his. "So… you wanna go… I mean together?" He is looking right at her, and surprisingly her eyes haven't wandered from his either. And she is about to open her mouth. He prays that it's finally a 'yes.' His heart beats at an unusually fast rate.

But whether she accepts his invitation or not, he never finds out, because right then the door to the Three Broomsticks opens, and a warm draft of air washes over the congregation. A gaggle of students walk out, laughing about something. The air… the warm air brings James to his senses. In that last second, he turns towards Dorcas, sudden inspiration overcoming him.

"Dorcas?" he says.

"What?" she asks, perplexed, clearly under the impression that James was talking to Lily.

"I was asking you." he asks, suddenly very confident, but still very much confused. "You wanna go to Slughorn's party together?"

"Me?" she asks, still not quite understanding James.

"Yeah."

Dorcas' eyes wander towards something behind James. Her eyes settle on Sirius, who stands looking more than just confused. She stares at him for a moment, wondering if he'll say something. For the past couple of weeks she had sensed a change in the way Sirius and her had communicated. She had been almost sure that there was more than just friendship in the air.

But, Sirius Black doesn't say anything even as James asks her to the party. She looks back at James, and knowing that James' intentions were only friendly, and nothing more, says, "Okay."

James smiles. "Okay." See, that wasn't too bad. "Well, I'll see you guys, then." Before he turns back to his friends, he takes a good look at the expressions on the girls' faces. They are surprised. But Lily… Lily is the most surprised of them all.

………………………………...

Sirius sulks. That is the only word for the way in which he is acting. He walks back from Hogsmeade with his friends, his usually handsome face now resembling an angry tomato. He refuses to talk to anyone. He glares at James, who has finally realized the fault in his previously faultless plan. He gives Dorcas the cold shoulder, a behavior that nearly drives her to tears.

"Could you pass me the salt, Sirius?" James asks halfway through dinner. Sirius slams the salt container on the table, causing everything on the table to jump a little. The pumpkin juice in front of Peter jumps out of the goblet and splashes all over his face. Remus and Peter (pumpkin juice dripping from his chubby chin) exchange a glance, and James winces. An angry Sirius was more than anyone could handle. He says hesitantly, "Look, Padfoot, I'm sorry I asked Dorcas, okay? It was a spur of the moment thing. It doesn't mean anything." He watches Sirius, searching for signs of forgiveness. "We're going as friends."

Sirius scoffs, and then ignoring James, gets up. "Remus, Peter, I'm going to bed." He walks past James, and then makes it a point not to look at Dorcas. He doesn't acknowledge her when she waves at him.

………………………………...

He hates it when Sirius is mad at him. It didn't happen often. But when it did, it felt like a cold draft of wind. It is during times like this that James wonders how he could manage to go through each day without Sirius. And when he wonders this, he sort of feels annoyed with himself. The thought is too touchy-feely. But, in reality, it is the truth.

He feels bored without him. Yes, Remus and Peter were more than willing to keep him company (although they also spend time with Sirius), but it just wasn't the same. They weren't Sirius. James remembers what his mother had said last summer when Sirius had left his household for good and had come to stay at the Potters' - "You boys are like the two sides of the same coin, never to be separated from each other."

"You might have considered the complicated relationship between Dorcas and Sirius before you asked her out," Remus says the day before Slughorn's party, when Sirius still hadn't so much as looked at James.

"Look, Moony, I wasn't thinking, okay?" James says, irritated with Remus for not understanding. "I just went up to them, and said whatever came to my mind first. I technically wasn't even asking Dorcas out…" He looks sheepish when Remus raises an eyebrow at this statement. "It's complicated." And Remus, being his usual wise-self, asks no further questions.

"Everything is complicated with you, James." Peter states, not being as wise as Remus.

"Stuff it, will you, Wormtail?" James grumbles, and then looks up to find Sirius walking into the common room, his arms slung over Marlene McKinnon's shoulders. James sighs, "Well, I'm off to bed."

………………………………...

Note: Hey, guys!

So, it has been a while since I updated... But, here, at last, is the next chapter. It was supposed include Slughorn's party, but I decided to have a separate chapter for it. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed what I have so far.

And again, I love feedback and reviews :)

Thanks to all my reviewers! You guys make my day :)

- Cordelia Blythe


	6. Sorting It All Out

She watches him as he waits in the common room for Dorcas. He stands in dress robes, his fingers fiddling with the sleeves of the robes. Even with the fiddling fingers, though, he looks as confident as ever, the "Potter Arrogance" evident on his face. She can't pinpoint the exact characteristic that makes James Potter look arrogant. She thinks it's the way in which he stands, his head held high, his height giving him that towering look. But then, she wonders if it's his ever-sparkling eyes. Those eyes that Mary swore were like hazel pools she could swim in. His "Muddy Pools," as Lily likes to call them, are the epitome of confidence. So, there he is, waiting for his date, managing to look both fidgety and arrogant at the same time.

She really shouldn't care. And she doesn't. She doesn't care that Dorcas is going with James Potter to Slughorn's party. She doesn't care that James Potter had asked Dorcas in the first place. And most importantly, she doesn't care that she had assumed that he was asking her.

After all, she had told Dorcas she didn't care if Dorcas went with Potter to the party.

"Why would I mind, Dorcas?" she had asked, exasperated. "Honestly."

But, she hates that she had _assumed _it. Why? Because assuming meant that she had anticipated it… looked forward to it. And everyone at Hogwarts knew that if there was anything Lily _didn't_ look forward to, it was James Potter asking her out.

So, _what_ is the problem?

Urgh. She doesn't know. She is so very confused.

………………………………...

This is a disaster. He is going with Dorcas, but his mind is elsewhere…

Sirius, the git, is mad at him. He is also mad at poor Dorcas, who is totally innocent.

The only good thing that has come out of this is that Lily is looking at him. Of course, she might be looking at him because he had spinach between his teeth, but he doesn't mind. The fact that he had captured her attention was more than enough.

Ah, and here comes Dorcas, looking very pretty in a lavender dress gown.

"Hi, Dorcas." he says.

"Hello, James." she says, looking around nervously. She comes close to him, and then whispers, "James, we're - we _are_ going as friends, aren't we?"

He chuckles softly, and then says, "Yes, Dorcas, we are."

She sighs, relieved. "Good."

"Well," James says, feigning a look of hurt. "I am very hurt, Meadowes. But, we all know that your heart belongs to someone else." They start walking towards the portrait hole.

"He hates me." she states frowning.

"Nah, he doesn't. He hates _me_."

"No, you guys are… like brothers. You'll work it out." she says.

"We will." he agrees.

………………………………...

"Butterbeer or firewhiskey?" James asks her.

Dorcas rolls her eyes. "I don't think we're _allowed_ firewhiskey, James."

"Whether you're allowed or not is not the problem. If you want firewhiskey, just say the word, Meadowes." he says smirking.

"No, I think I'll pass on getting drunk, Potter." she says.

"Butterbeer, it is." he says, and hands her a bottle of butterbeer from the crate in the corner of the large tent in which the party is held. He shakes his head at her, "Come on, Meadowes, who drinks butterbeer at a party?"

"An underage witch."

"A Party pooper."

"Honestly, Potter?" she asks, a smile playing at her lips. "You should be thankful that I agreed to go to this party with you, just so that you could make Lily jealous."

"Right. That's what I'm trying to do." He tries to look skeptical about it.

"Excuse me," says a gruff voice, and they both turn around to find Sirius standing there, looking expressionless.

"Sirius." Dorcas and James say simultaneously. But Sirius doesn't acknowledge their greetings, and instead, reaches around to grab onto a bottle of butterbeer.

"Padfoot, come on -" James starts to say when Sirius turns around to walk away. Sirius doesn't look back. James sighs and turns to Dorcas, "I have to talk to him." She nods. "But first," He smiles, and holds out his hand to her. "Let's dance."

………………………………...

Sirius is furious. They're dancing. James the backstabber and Dorcas the heartbreaker. And here comes Remus the… well, Remus didn't do anything.

Remus eyes Sirius warily, and then praying that Sirius had cooled off a little, walks closer to him.

"So, how's the party, Sirius?" Remus asks reluctantly.

"Good." Sirius says shortly. And they're silent for around five minutes. It's an awkward five minutes in which Remus struggles to come up with something to say (something that did not involve James or Dorcas), and Sirius continues to glare at James and Dorcas. When the five minutes are over, Sirius mutters, "He could've just told me that he fancied her."

Remus stares at Sirius, and then chuckles. But when Sirius turns to give him the famous Black glower, Remus stops laughing. "Look, Sirius, if you haven't figured it out yet, then I have to say that you're pretty clueless." When Sirius' glower only intensifies, Remus sighs. "James is hopelessly in love with Lily." Sirius opens his mouth to disagree, but Remus cuts him off. "Yes, he asked Dorcas to party, but only because he thought he had to prove to us that he was over Lily." Remus rolls his eyes. "But we all know that that's impossible. He practically drools over her." He pauses. "And well, Dorcas… she likes you too much to want to hurt you. James asked her, and she said yes." Again, Sirius starts to protest. "_You_ hadn't asked her, so, it's not like she knew you were going to." That said, Remus gets up, and says, "Talk to them." And then he is gone.

………………………………...

She dances with James, but her eyes are glued on the dark-headed boy sitting next to Remus. When he gets up and starts walking towards them, she almost gasps out loud. She pulls away from James, and whispers, "He's coming over, James." James turns around, and they both wait as Sirius makes his way over to them. For a moment, the three of them just stand, looking at one another.

Sirius is the first one to talk. He looks at James and says, "You don't fancy her." It's not even a question. It's a statement.

"No." James says.

Silence.

"I'm sorry." Sirius says.

James smiles slightly, and then says, "You're a git, you know that?"

"I know." He smiles too, and suddenly, this is all just so childish. Of course, James didn't fancy Dorcas.

Sirius looks over at Dorcas, but doesn't ask her anything. They stare at each other for what seems like forever.

James clears his throat, and says, "Well, I'll just be leaving, then."

………………………………...

He leaves the party, smiling widely. He doesn't know what made Sirius finally come and talk to him, but whatever it was, he is happy.

The hallways of Hogwarts are deserted, as it is almost close to midnight. The members of the slug club are still enjoying the party, while most other students are probably fast asleep.

He likes the solitude, though. It wasn't often that he got to be alone, but when he miraculously was alone, he kind of liked it. Not that he didn't like being around his friends. He loved his friends, and most of the time, he liked their company. But being alone for a few minutes wasn't all that bad.

He turns a corner, and then almost stumbles over something… No, _someone_. A someone who is five feet tall with red hair.

"OW!" she yells.

"Evans!" he exclaims, as she gets up from her sitting position. "What on earth are you doing, sitting against the wall, in a corridor, at the middle of the bloody night?"

She brushes off the back of her emerald green dress robes, and says, "What on earth are _you _doing, walking in the corridor at the middle of the - night?"

"I'm walking back from the party."

"I'm just… sitting here." She sits down again, leaning back against the wall.

"Yes, I can see that." he says, and then slides down the wall, sitting next to her.

"Where's Dorcas?" she asks, surprising herself and him by not telling him to go away.

"With Sirius." he says, and she looks up, surprised. He smiles, and then grins.

"What are they doing?"

"I'd rather not know." he says.

"Wait, with Sirius?" Her eyes widen. "_With _Sirius? Sirius Black?"

"Yes, _with._ How many Sirius' do you know?" He raises his eyebrows at her. "You're actually surprised? They have had this thing going on forever."

"Well, I know that they've had this thing… I mean, at least I know that Dorcas has - she took his Quidditch gloves, for merlin's sake!" she says. "But, Sirius… well, he's… you know."

"No, I don't know." James says, confused. "Sirius is what?"

She hesitates. "It's just… he hasn't really been known to be the long-term boyfriend, has he?" She sighs. "Look, Dorcas is my friend, and I don't want her getting hurt."

"So, you're saying that Sirius is going to hurt her?" James asks, a little irritated. "Don't you think you're being judgmental?

"No, I'm just saying that they're really different -"

"So? Why does that even matter?" he asks.

"It matters, James, because -" But he doesn't get to know why it matters to her. They hear foot steps and hushed voice from around the corner of the corridor, and James signals for her to stop talking. He looks around the corner, and sees Snape, Mulciber, and Avery walking out of a classroom.

………………………………...

Note: Hey guys,

I love the reviews! Please keep them coming:)

- Cordelia Blythe


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